In this article, we will see the importance of creating a space for expression before a tantric massage, in order to allow the person being massaged to feel confident enough to dare to pose their real limits and expose their needs. Here are the options that you will need to follow now for a proper execution of the works.
Relations between men and women have always generated traumatic memories, both collective and individual, of which we are all today all heirs.
It is good for a psycho-corporeal accompanist to be aware of this in order not to reinforce these patterns of opposition but, on the contrary, to work to pacify and harmonize this relationship. It is all the more sensitive in a field like Tantra which tackles the theme of sexuality, place of crystallization of tensions par excellence.
Even if we knew it intellectually, we did not realize as a man how subtle and deep these gender distortions were and how difficult it was for women to express their needs and limits, let alone facing a man.
Taking the proper measure of these distortions is essential in order to create the space necessary for this expression to really take place.
We are keen to share with you some examples from my own practice so that this can contribute to more openness of consciousness and that we can all move towards more accuracy.
Installation of the tantric massage frame
It is the professional’s responsibility to set the scene for the session. It is however important that in this framework, are added the needs and limits specific to the person being massaged. To do this, my presentation of the framework of a tantric massage systematically involves two questions: “Are there objective limits that you wish to add?”
Take the time to dig up your reserves
Previously, when the client answered me negatively, we was satisfied with this answer, while specifying that she had of course the right to change her mind during the massage. Today, when this answer is a little too fast or seems hesitant to me, we take the time to deepen and to check well if the client really perceives her own limits of the moment and has sufficient assertiveness to answer me on this point.
We do not always measure how difficult our cultural heritage makes it difficult for a woman to set limits with regard to a man, especially if this man is in a position of authority, which is the case for the therapist or professional support. Many women have truly integrated the subconscious belief that they have no right to say no to a man by asserting their limits, whether out of shyness, not wanting to be difficult or going in the right direction the other.
A caregiver who is aware of these issues therefore has the responsibility of taking care to check whether the framework expressed really corresponds to the desired framework and to help the person overcome their reluctance to express their needs.